Most of my life has centered on doing. Setting goals and then working to accomplish them. Making lists of activities and checking them off when completed. Most of my relationships and conversations with others are similarly centered on what they do — such as what they do for a living, or what they do in their spare time.
My identity was closely tied to what I did, and the value I placed on others was usually based on what they did. What kind of fruit did this bear? Too often, superficial relationships and an internal sense of loneliness. On the outside, it looked like I had everything a person could want, but on the inside, something was missing — there was a big hole in my heart.
Fortunately, God doesn’t give up on us, no matter how long we ignore Him. Recognizing our brokenness and our need for God is the beginning of our interior transformation. We don’t one day “find” God. Rather, God is patiently by our side each and every day.
We are called “human beings” even though most of the time we act like “human doings.” We spend much of our time doing things to discover who we are, thinking that this will lead to happiness. But this is backwards! We need to “be” before we can “do.” Recognizing who we are and why we are here is the first step in living a fulfilling life. So, how do we do this? Right now, no matter the circumstances in your life, realize that you are a beloved child of God. And, if God, Our Father, is love and we are made in His image, then we too are love. This is the missing piece to fill the hole in our heart — trusting in God’s love. Without it, our lives are meaningless and we are restless. We are in an unending search of the next “thing” to discover who we are. Our “value” doesn’t come from what we do, it comes from who we are, that’s what makes life, human beings, so special. We are made for more — we are made for God.
Once we know who we are, it is easier to know why we are here, it changes the whole trajectory of our life. We are made to love — both God and each other. We begin to see as God sees — with compassion and mercy. When we realize that we are all children of God, regardless of our race, creed or color, it is easier to treat each other with dignity and respect. We look for the good in people and give them a second chance. We see the face of Jesus in others, and we become the face of Jesus to others.
Lent is near. It’s a time to prune our vices and allow our virtues to grow. This year, try developing a better balance between “being” and “doing.” Spend more time with God just being — set aside time in silence to be with God daily and participate more often in the sacraments. Spend more time with family and friends just being. Spend more time just listening to others. Be there for others — building meaningful relationships and breaking down walls of isolation and loneliness.
When you really believe that we are all beloved children of God, you won’t look at other people the same way. This is who we are called to be and this is what we are called to do.
David Baranowski is the director of stewardship education in the Archdiocese of St. Louis. He and his wife are parishioners at Mary, Mother of the Church in south St. Louis County.